my angle of depression.

February 26, 2010

 

okay. sorry about the title. but that’s what was how i was feeling. literally. im getting depressed over mathematics. i mean, im not that dumb, i believe, but math is not my favorite subject either, and i have no idea now why i took engineering. because before, i think i know why. and maybe i dont know myself now.

i feel like i have to shift to another course, but i dont want to. i love engineering already. from its stinky building that has discrimination for girls, because it has two times more male restrooms than girls. kuya Ray who was the photocopy guy in our building that we already included in our dreams for the future. the green benches, the “resort”, everything. 

i feel like its a second home already. even my friends, they’re like my family already. and i dont want to be find another friends again.

 

waaaa. this sucks.

LIFE GOES ON. thats what im trying to process in my self. that whatever happens, my life will still goes on. i choose this, i started it, and i have to finish it, even if it means climbing mountains and swimming in the ocean full of sharks. OA much? haha.

i can do this, i know this post seems melodramatic, but whatever, i just have to let it all out. i can do this, i know i can. 

thanks for reading this lame post! keep safe. and happy weekends. ^_^

what hurts the most.

February 23, 2010

 

aww. sorry, im just really LSS with the song what hurts the most by Rascal Flatts. i like their version more than anyone’s version. haha.

i really can’t relate to the song, but i really love it. the pain is there ya know. you can feel it through the melody and lyrics. and im not exaggerating. haha.

anyway, this would just be a short post for all of you guys. im just really bored. 

my class today is supposedly  2-9pm. but all my profs arent there except theology, which was 6-7:30pm only. so thats the only class i actually had for today. where in hell do my tuition fees go? haha. kidding. i wasn’t really mad, its cool actually that there isnt class.

but it sucks because i didnt see my crush. boohoo. oh well, there’s still tomorrow. ^_^ 

oh well, thats pretty much it. till next time. *hugs*

and lemme share this to you, i made it. haha.

  

PS. please follow me on tumblr. pretty please? haha.

it doesn’t matter. who is without a flaw?

February 21, 2010

 

that is what my fortune cookie said. my title, i mean. and its so right, who is without a flaw anyway? each one of us has a flaw. and as they say, we have to embrace our flaws. love them, and accept them, because that’s who we are. our flaws are a big part of us, and to find people that will accept everythin about us is the greatest gift of all.so if you have friends that loves you despite everything, then you are one lucky person. and i can say that i am a lucky one too. because i have tons of true friends. 

anyway, its been a long tiring but fun week. its after exams,so there havent been class at all this past week. and i havent update for a while because im so lazy to go online. i know, sounds impossible and so not me, but yeah, for once in my life i have been lazy to go in front of the computer. haha.

and oh, i made this picture, look..

 

 

its not that cute but hey, i made effort on it anyway. haha. that’s me and my close friend steph, by the way. we’ve been friends since highschool that’s why i know almost everything about her, and likewise. and we’re in our school theater there. we watched a play about Ninoy Aquino. and it was the best! its just so sad that we’re not allowed to take pictures during the play because the actors are really good looking. as in really. haha. 

anyway. i just realised that its february 21 now, time flies when your having fun right? im really sad that class will be over for only one month and a week. i mean, im almost second year people. whoooa. im so old.

and yeah, its not that i’ll miss my friends that makes me so sad, because i would be spending my entire college life with them, its my crush actually. i know, old story. but we’re friends now actually. and he told me he’ll going to shift to another course next sem and that makes me really sad. and so i decided to cherish every moment with him. i mean, we’re not that close, but kinda. and i was really hopin to be very close to him if my friends and his friends would just learn to shut up and not tease us whenever his there. i mean, come on guys. it does makes me “kilig” that you actually do that, but you have to know when to stop. 

okay, enough with my crush. its unhealthy how much i think about him, seriously.

how are you guys anyway? i’ve missed you so much! 

[un]HAPPY HEART’S DAY! lol.

February 14, 2010

 

 

 

or should i say HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY? haha. oh well,its been a while since i last posted, or even go online. i was hella busy with exams and all that. but i was sorta free now so i took the chance to post something, to keep you updated about my booooooring life.

its valentines today, obviously, and i feel jealous to be honest with those people who have their special someone in their life. i mean, seeing lovers go on a date makes me get sadder ya now. it doesnt bother me that much on simple days, but its valentines! and i didnt have a date with someone! i mean, how pathetic is that? but you know its not as if nobody ask me, there were people who did, but i dont like them so why go on a date with someone you dont like? it will just not go great, so instead, i just ate lunch with my classmates and had a movie marathon all by myself.

i watched WICKER PARK, MADE OF HONOR, MUST LOVE DOGS AND THE PROPOSAL. i mean, how pathetico and ironic is that? i actually watch romantic love stories. haha. i want to laugh at myself. i watched love stories while feeling bitter about valentines. lol.

anyway, stop the bitterness people, it isnt good. and i kinda feel better right now actually. i feel okay because february 14 is about to go. haha. i know that what im saying sounds insane especially because valentines day should be about love and not bitterness. but as they say, for us loveless, this day is single awareness day. so whatevs.

and besides, my classmate told me that VALENTINES came from the name VAL or something that meant three martyrs of love. meaning! its actually should be about brokenhearted people like moi. hahaha.

ohhh, whatever, im blabbing nonsense again.im sorry. i’ll stop now. lol.

so there. enjoy your day people. im happy for those who have their special someone in their life right now. someone to celebrate this day with the one they truly love. so value them. they deserve it.

and for those who are loveless like me, CHEERS! hahahaha. let us be happy because our love story is still isnt out. because it will be the best. enjoy life first. our prince will come at the right time. 

 

have a good day people! life is at its best when the whole world seems against you but still your surviving.

keep smiling

 

still smiling :)))

February 7, 2010

 

 

i was like super confident in my last post that im moving on. but why cant i? siya kase. he keeps giving me reasons not to. im not saying im not going to move n. I AM. it will just takes a lot of time. 

first of all, i hate him that he still keep the money i shape like a heart. di niya pa ginastos. why? is he that rich? its making me confused. its like as long as he keeps that, my heart is with him too. i know, CORNY. lol.

second, he’s already courting someone else. but he still likes me, (or i think he does). he told my friend he didnt continue pursuing me because i told him before to back off. i mean, GUYS CAN BE DUMB. dont they get that when a girl says that, she meant the other way around. i mean, whooooa. this is making me mad. and besides i was mad at that time. now i know, we shoulkdnt be making decisions when mad. grr.

 

hahahaha. im so sorry, just need to say those. to release them. ya know. i know, this is super yesterday na. its like all what i ever talk about in this blog. i know your getting sick and tired of it. well, i am too. im getting sick of being tired, and tired of being sick. LIFE IS SO HARSH. especially mine.

oh well, its not as if i can do something about this if i keep on blabbing about it. someday, i know, its all going to make sense.

so have a happy lunch everyone! *hugs* 

 

 

FEBRUARY = love ?

February 4, 2010

 

  

this is probably late already but i want to welcome february too. WELCOME FEBRUARY!!! a lot of teens are waiting for this so called love month. its like Christmas for couples and lovers out there. and its like haloween for loveless, brokenhearted or loveless like moi. haha. kidding. 

seriously, i dont hate february. its not as if im the only one who’s loveless here. there are tons out there. its just that i hate the fact that february tend to make me feel like im all alone. know that feeling? sure, i recieve love and care from my friends and family every single day of my life. but sometimes, i cant help but think that it would have been nicer if someone special would love me the way i love him. to feel like when we’re together, we own the world. it would have been great if that’s the case, but its not. so i just have to accept that. life has never been fair anyway.

a lot of people say that HATE is such a strong word, including me. but sometimes people dont realize that LOVE is too, but they just say it and throw it like its nothing. dont they realize that loving someone means accepting that person fully with or without his/her flaws. and once you say it, you can never take it back, like its just a borrowed pen. 

im not bitter. i dont wanna be bitter. im just saying what i feel.

last night i finally realize that im worth loving because im a human created by God. that’s why last night, i decided to give up my feelings for someone that cant see my worth.

my friends have been saying that to my face already, for how many days now. but i dont want to hear it. because i cant accept it. but last night, i did. and i wanted to thank everyone who keeps giving me advices. i was blind and deaf at that time, i wanted to fight. but now, i realized, its already time to give up. because what im fighting for is not worthy to fight.  

so even though its too late, i wanted to restart my february with a smile. with hope and dreams. with love and care, with positive aura. sabi nga ni anne curtis diba. NO TO NEGATIVITY! haha.

this would be hard, but i know i can do it.

THANKS EVERYONE! GIVE LOVE THIS FEBRUARY! *hugsss*

 

 

 

 

 

 i hate it that because of you, half the time i didnt know i was smiling.

that with every little thing you do, it makes my heart bit faster than usual.

how can i move on when i still am in love with you?

i cant breathe without you, but i have to. :/

 

help me.