can i restart?

January 17, 2010

 

i mean, i’ve read my previous entries, and they sound so emo! argh! i hate that. i hate it when i feel so weak and stupid.

but i still don’t want to delete them, because they have beautiful advices from you. ^_^ im happy about that. thank you everyone, especially ate Rich. ^_^ and my engineering friends, and highschool bestfriends. thanks!

okay, so CRUSH IS CRUSHED now. so whatever. i still dont know what i really feel, i guess i’ll find out tomorrow, when i see him. ayokong magsalita ng tapos. (tama ba?) haha. 

 

 

but for now, i still have tons of homeworks. so later! i love you all people! *smile*

 

 

i am smiling because i dont know what’s going on… :D

Posted by hartyu at 4:14 pm | permalink | comments[2]

goodbye my almost lover???

 

 

  

okay. hindi ko na ma take ito. meron nanamang problema!` he wants to stop na. he told me, his friend likes me too, and he doesn’t want their friendship to be ruined. so he wants to let me go… 

im super sad, i wanted to cry! why is life this harsh?????????

he told me, kung alam ko lang daw kase kung gaano ako ka gusto ng friend niya… i wanted to tell him, kung alam mo lang din kung gano kita ka gusto. >_<

im tired of this drama. but i dont want to give him up. sabi niya, friends muna kame. i said ok, wala na din naman akong magagawa. he said, kung walang ginawang move ang friend niya, he’ll continue again. just doesn’t seem right, right now. 

i get him, he doesn’t want to betray his friend. he doesn’t want to hurt him. i get that! but its hard for me.

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.

.

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okay, im kinda okay now. i will be friends with him. but i will not give him up either. so aja! ^_^

  

 

Posted by hartyu at 12:56 pm | permalink | comments[4]

i feel guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

 

its ICA’s birthday today! aw.happy birthday headban! iloveyou. ^^

 

i feel happy and sad and guilty today. remember CRUSH from my last entry? he’s courting me now! aw. *kiligwithasmile* and i dunno but, i really feel guilty about that. >_< because one of my friends has a huge (???) crush on him too! i feel selfish for thinking and  choosing my own happiness, instead of hers. i feel like ive betrayed her, even though she didn’t tell me directly she also likes him, someone just told me. i feel evil. like my 2 horns and tail are begining to show up again. :/

i know this kinda sounds shallow. but i know what it feels like to have someone you like court and like someone else. especially if that someone is your friend. it hurts. like a real stabbing-your-heart-and-no-one-is-there-to-fix-them-hurt.

 

i mean, how can life be so unfair? 

all of a sudden, i’ll meet my happiness, but then that happiness, my happiness… will also mean of taking away someone else’s?  in order for me, JUST ME, to be happy?

THATS BULL. 

 

 

 

 

 

awww. >_<


Posted by hartyu at 12:16 am | permalink | comments[3]