i am not a coward?

October 4, 2009

 

 

after a long week, nag paload na ulit ako. i decided ‘its time’ already. i can no longer pretend that nothing is wrong. i can no longer hide from the truth because whether i like it or i like it (lol) ‘ll have to face my problems and my consequence. 

tonight, i decided to let go of spvm. i texted him and told him the truth. (not about GM of course) i told him i’m not ready to go in a relationship right now, which is technically true. i decided to let him go, though they say you can never let go of someone you never had, i’ll still use the word ‘let go’ because im setting him free. no more sweet messages, no more corny quotes, no more late night calls to say goodnight, no more reminding me to eat at the right time and to rest, no more special someone sending me home, NO MORE SPVM.

 

i feel sad and happy(??).. not really happy, just.. uhm what’s the right word??? nabunutan ng tinik? yeah thats what i feel. para akong nabunutan ng tinik. i feel free. though i feel sad because i’ll miss those things i just said before. but i believe i can still do them SOON.

i said para akong nabunutan ng tinik because. its been a long week na di ako nagpapa load, i even turn off my phone sometimes, di ako nagbubukas ng ym, nag o-offline ako sa facebook chat. ganun ako kaduwag harapin siya. tinataguan ko talaga siya.. pero syempre, I CAN NEVER HIDE FOREVER, so i chose this night to tell him. di pa siya nag rereply. mahina kase signal. sira ang globe. tinyempo ko talaga yan kase duwag ako na malaman agad sagot niya. lol.

 

but i told him we can still be friends you know, which i realize now that it sounds so sellfish, because i’m still not letting him go because we are still friends. but whatever. it hurts too on my side. di naman ganun kadaling manakit ng ibang tao. lalu na at taong naging importante sa buhay mo. its hurts as much as it hurts on his side too. 

 

i just wish that whatever i did tonight,i’ll never regret it in th end.

Posted by hartyu at 9:56 pm | permalink | Add comment